CAN'T SHUT US DOWN

Of new years and "blank slates"

2009-12-27T17:09:12Z

Today I bought a 2010 planner.

A few weeks ago, a friend and I happened to pass by Fully Booked at the EDSA Shangri-la and I chanced upon Benrik's "This Diary Will Change Your Life, 2009 ed." If you've ever come across this particular organizer, I'm certain you'd remember it because of it's bright yellow color and the artistically-prepared scribbles on the front cover. Amongst other organizers, this particular one stands out because of all the crazy "to do lists" contained within it's pages. It's certainly not for all tastes, but quite frankly, I loved it and have been looking forward to getting myself a copy of the 2010 ed, until..today.

Unfortunately, my determination has brought me nowhere. I've tried 2 Fully Booked branches (even though the staff at the first branch readily informed me that a copy is not available at any of their branches), the Bestsellers bookstore at Robinson's Galleria, and even National Bookstore (but what was I thinking?). For one reason or another, the 2010 edition is not available. Meanwhile, I have been in dire need of an organizer seeing as plans and tasks have been piling up on my January schedule. Thus, I was left with no choice, but to settle with TeNeues's 2010 edition of the Jack Vettriano diary. It's gorgeous, actually. A great second choice. But still, a second choice.

Benrik's "This Diary Will Change Your Life 2009" 2010 Jack Vettriano Lg Magneto Diary by TeNeus

This got me thinking, why do I always make such a big deal about buying the perfect organizer every time a new year approaches. It's not just that I'm going to carry it around with me more than any other notebook the entire year. That would be oddly superficial. No. It's got to be something more than that. I enjoy browsing through the blank pages and checking out what days important occasions will fall on. For instance, my birthday will fall on a Sunday next year. It's intriguing to think about what might happen as another round of 365 days inevitably approaches. Somehow, pondering on a brand new year, translates to a certain kind of hope. New Year always provides a kind of "break", as Levinas would call it. It snaps us out of our usual realities. It's that time of the year when we go up for air and examine all the possibilities before we dive back down to life's daily joys and hassles. On a critical note, this "break", if we may call it that, may even impact our lives in more ways than one, as it influences how we will probably determine resolutions. Strangely enough however, is it not also true that we have the capability to do this, to break out, and decide to pursue a change at ANY time of the year? Yet, it's as if we are primed to do so only and most especially on the 1st of January. Perhaps it is on this occasion that there is a biological alarm clock which goes off in order to rouse us so that we may purposefully reflect on psychological reinforcements and punishments we experienced during the year (at least those we are conscious of). In retrospect, it's as if we imagine a selective "blank slate" each time a new year comes our way, deceiving us into thinking that all the pain untastefully served to us on a platter can finally be thrown to the disposal. Realistically speaking, we've had that same choice of flushing all that weight at any time of the year. Why selective? Curiously, we tend to hold on to all the accomplishments and valued memories, only opting to break free and starting from scratch for so long as our mistakes and losses are concerned. Bias.

That's just how we were designed.

Nonetheless, imagined or not, the New Year provides us a prospect of starting again. Another shot at making the next year worth remembering. An opportunity to hope for something better than the last. Who wouldn't want to take advantage of that?

I know I would.

She writes.

2009-12-25T17:38:42Z

What an opportune time to start writing again, Merry Christmas everyone! (An hour past anyway..)

Needless to say, this account has been inactive for years. Welcome back to me ;) What made me decide to write again? Who knows. Curiosity maybe, but I'd like to think, I've resurrected this (for what seems like the nth time) with a sense of purpose. We'll see!

Nonetheless, as I logged into this journal just a minute ago, I was greeted by a sudden rush of nostalgia. My private entries, which were my most recent ones (but still, years ago), flashed on the screen. Being myself, I couldn't help but read through them knowing very well they may cause me untimely negative emotions at this time of the year. And they did. BUT... only for a few seconds, because I have just recently decided that, I shall not sweat the small stuff. Yes, happiness has become a decision for me nowadays. Still, I'd rather this than take on a Scrooge-like demeanor during the holidays. For the most part, this strategy has been working. As is everything, I guess it starts with a decision (whether conscious or not, in this case, VERY MUCH conscious) and everything will follow from there. One day at a time, is what they say.

Moving on, it is usually at this point that I would give a thorough rundown of all that's happened to me since I've been gone. This time around, let's just gonna skip all that (for my sake, and those of you--if any at all-- who ever come across this). Nevertheless, four quick bullet-points may be called for if you are to follow my train of thought from this entry on. So briefly..

It's my senior year at the university, though I'm not graduating just yet. I shifted into AB Psychology a tad too late which caused my thesis to be bumped off to another year. Fifth year, it is for me then! While I'm at it, I will also probably be doing a Management minor since I'm only lacking just two more subjects.
My FB stat says: single. Go figure. Though I must point out, after all the rough patches (and good times too) John and I are still pretty good friends-- what seems to be a surprise, even to me. This just goes to show how friendship was firmly established as a foundation to the entire relationship. So, single and (both) happy. No need to delve into that.
I am... Cinderella. That's right, 12 MN. Till when? I'm crossing my fingers it'll be over pretty soon.
Having started from being an artist for the org, stepping up to other leadership positions including Assoc. Director for Comm, I am currently serving MEcO as the Director for Communications.. but wait a few weeks, and I'll be making another announcement with regards to the upcoming MEcO elections.

Of course those are just highlights. Adding more details seems too taxing (or maybe I purposely do not want to go into details HAHA). Well, whichever the case, that'll be it for now. As a follow through, I will be including "religiously update LJ" to my new year's resolution list so as to give me an extra push. Although really, right now, relief is what I feel at being able to write here again. I guess, I honestly missed this. This will do me good, how can it not?

For the second time, welcome back to me ;)) haha

And with that, I'd like to wish everyone a Merry Christmas!
Happy Holidays to all!

"And the Grinch, with his Grinch-feet ice cold in snow, stood puzzling and puzzling, how could it be so?
It came without ribbons. It came without tags. It came without packages, boxes or bags.
And he puzzled and puzzled till his puzzler was sore.
Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before.
What if Christmas, he thought, doesn't come from a store?
What if Christmas, perhaps, meansa little bit more?"

Proposal

2007-09-16T10:30:26Z

Monday : School Day

Tuesday: School Day

Wednesday: School Day

Thursday: School Day

Friday: School Day

Saturday: NSTP (whole afternoon)

Sunday: STUDY DAY

.......Can we add another day to the week?

Whatever happened to REST DAY? X_x

Lucky times 4

2007-08-21T12:10:18Z

Today I got lucky 4 times :))

1) The law quiz (which apparently i failed jot down in my organizer-- THE STORY OF MY LIFE, can't function without it haha) was SUPRISINGLY and for the first time ever... a TAKE-HOME QUIZ! What are the chances??... Thank you Lord!!

2) My parents are yet to give me this week's allowance and without knowing john suddenly decides to treat me lunch out! Someone is psychic... Hahaha!

3) I pulled through my (dreaded) arnis midterms (.. I couldn't quite recall all the patterns after that looooong break uhoh) with a score of 21/25. Not bad for someone who wasn't prepared at all!

4) NSTP processing was moved to another day.. PHEW. No staying late in school today XD

On the contrary, the accounting long test 2 was returned to us. First subject pa. BOO you accounting! It was quite the worst beginning to an otherwise lucky day.

~
And if I open my heart to you
I'm hoping you'll show me what to do
And if you help me to start again
You know that I'll be there for you in the end

oneiric_musings @ 2007-08-20T17:23:00

2007-08-20T09:26:04Z

(we're gonna miss you relly!)

Hello LJ. I missed you.

2007-08-17T16:40:00Z

Hmm.. I think it's the weather thats causing me to feel irritable. The downpour of rain has been nonstop and a gush of frustration has been pouring down with it.. for me at least.

Hmm, i just realized that Rel is really leaving for Canada.

Sure I've known it for awhile but i guess it's really just sinking in now. SHES LEAVING :(

I know.. drama. But I'm really going to miss that girl. Since college has started I haven't been talking to her as much as I'd have wanted to (and with the rest of the barkada for that matter). There's been YM confs or short phone calls, and those precious dinners together but it really makes you feel nostalgic about those good ol' highschool days. Sure, a lot of ranting was witnessed there too but I miss being able to see the barkada every single day through all the laughter, scandals, tampuhan and drama that came along with it. Hehe. So here's to my phantom/dirty dancing/beyonce move dancin buddy whose stuck by me and gave me the best advice through all those late night phone calls even though she was sleepy na :)) LOVE YOU REL! You go show them that kickass talent you've got and be the next big thing in the fashion business! We all know you're destined to get there XD

Rant No 2.
It's her despedida tomorrow and John's invited. No, thats not the glitch of course. The problem is as usual... his attendance is uncertain due to certain factors ~~(which I shall not mention here out of respect for the people concerned)~~. It just gets me you know? It's a dinner for goodness sake. A dressy one at that. PLUS it's a house dinner. Not at a bar. Not else where.. but at Relly's house. How dangerous can a house dinner get? Hmm, thing is, I should really be used to this by now. I can't keep on getting disappointed everytime he can't attend a party, an event or whatnot. I mean, we continue to choose sticking with this knowing that its a tight situation. Hmm.. I really hope this gets better. Eats me up. Nonetheless, we'll work it out... we always do :)

Gawd. The weather's just getting to me. It's even affected my current taste in music, strangely enough.. its making the beatles, beegees and the cranberries resurface in my playlist :)) Not that there's anything wrong with that. I actually miss these songs nga eh. "How deep is your looove.. how deep is... your... lovee.. i really need to know! Cos we're living in a world of fools..." Hahahahaha. Here we go Xp

The house is still here. Still standing.

2007-05-04T09:42:36Z

I've been reading a lot of Jessica Zafra lately. Ever heard of Womenagerie? It's an anthology of her earlier columns from Woman Today magazine. It's actually a really good book. Her sometimes cynical (or is it just realistic?) points of view concerning various life matters (i.e. commuting, politics, marriage, moving out, guys.. etc etc) is guaranteed to entertain and you end up laughing out loud like you've finally lost it. Hilarous really. Funny thing is, while it's been a worthwhile read, which is more than I can say for some foreign literary pieces I've bought at 300++.. and then gave up on after the first 3 chapters.. they sell it at P63.75 at our local bookstores. Isn't that funny? WELL not really (haha).. for the most part its disappointing. Local writers (and I'm not saying ALL of them.. im talking about the ones with undeniable talent) should be given more credit for the stuff they write. We ought to invest more in local talents. Hmm.

*Sighs*

I'm bored...

OHHH. I watched Spiderman 3 with John yesterday. Yess we all know it was a good movie and I'm not gonna bore you guys with Spidey crazed praise.. noo noo, that is if i even have any. Thing is, (although I would have to say that even with the given circumstances at that time, it was STILL a really good flick) my mind was fleeting elsewhere during most of the suspense scenes (towards the end of the movie). Fleeting specifically to our house which i thought was BURNING TO BITS o_O Yes you read that right. At a certain point in the movie (which I fail to recall), my brother Gerry kept on calling me up. I, in turn ,kept on rejecting the calls, thinking it was something which could be handled through text messaging, till I could put together a message that read: "In cinema. Watching spiderman". I think I sent that twice and the vibrating finally stopped. However in place I got this reply: "Back garden is burning. We're gonna lose our money". I froze. WHAT THE HELL?? NOW?? For a moment I felt all the energy draining from my body while my mind engaged in a frenzy of WHAT IFs. Finally I stood up and went outside to call by brother. He explained that it was the kids' fault (my other siblings) and that there were firemen there right now trying to kill the fire. He also mentioned that the neighbors were out in the streets. In my mind a scene from one of those firemen movies, like Ladder 49, started to play. This didn't help my already speechless not to mention shocked state. "Hello tell me whats happening now! Where are you??" I managed to say. "The fire's going down na. I'm in your restroom" "Okay fine. Update me" "Yes, watch Spiderman na!" Okay. So I finally got back to my seat. I, meaning my physical self, my mind was still roving elsewhere but I was trying to enjoy the movie anyway. And then it registered. What the hell was my brother doing in an enclosed area like my restroom which also happens to have only one window facing the side of the fire. Gawd.. Smoke. He could suffocate. So I texted him this (which in retrospect now seems funny): SAVE MY LAPTOP AND GET OUT OF THE HOUSE!!"

Hahahaha... Ohmy. Well, to cut the long story short, turns out it wasn't actually our "back garden" that was burning. It was the vacant lot right beside our house which the kids referred to as the "back garden" because they're so used to playing there. Still that was dangerous. Mom tells me the kids made a bonfire and then after extinguishing it, they transfered the remains elsewhere, which in turn, because of the extreme heat and strong winds, reignited. It spread fast and it was really strong. Scary daw. At the end of the day, when all was well and a sense of humor could not be helped, she said to me "Mia you missed all the drama. We were all so scared", I wanted to say, "OH. I think that's a good thing. If i was there.... ohno. Too much drama to handle na" Xp Hahaha.. I'm kiddiing!! Well half-kidding...

I know I did

2007-04-28T10:23:28Z

And the long wait is over. I did it. I do feel lighter, like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders although now an unspoken feeling of awkwardness has replaced it (Maybe all that talk about disappointment finally got to me and I am imagining this?) They took it better than I expected (Although it helped that I was expecting the worst possible scenario). After the drama we ended up laughing at my dad's jokes. Pshh.. gotta love my dad for his open mindedness. My siblings are acting all weird though. Gia and Gerry especially. It sort of hurts because I guess, well I was expecting something positive from them of all people. Got none of that and it sort of well.. no other way to put it.. sucks. Ohwell.. time heals all. I did the right thing right?? (I so need my barkada right now.. ) Someone slap me and tell me to smile na nga!!

Take a deep breath and just do it.

2007-04-28T06:43:18Z

Personally I’ve encountered my own share of desperate situations. Desperate in a sense of wanting something so terribly that you feel utmost destitution and worse, a wild sense of agitation till it is resolved or after a long helpless wait is over. This nightmare of feelings of course only happens most of the time when you are left alone in your quiet bedroom or when you lie awake in you bed at night (and all your dilemmas come to mind). Usually waiting is the hardest part. There is only so much you can do. You put in superlative effort but inevitably you come to a point when you just have to stop, wait and watch what happens. You guys know what I’m talking about. We all took college entrance exams and we all know the feeling of paranoia and helplessness that follows after you take the exam of your dream university and wait— the long wait that will seem to ensue for years and years instead of mere months. Helpless waiting which can only be eased by strong Faith and prayer.

Presently I am again in a situation where in I have to wait (patience is not so easy to hold on to in times like this). There is, however, no fine line between my situation and that of waiting for college entrance exam results. Instead there is a thick thick wall... a strong, opaque, sturdy wall that separates the two situations because now I find myself waiting for the right time (not for long because I am merely waiting for mi padre to come home from an errand) to explain my actions and admit to faults (I will admit to my faults yes, but I am undeniably standing firm on the fact that I do not regret any of them) to people whom I am afraid will be hurt and might not understand where I am coming from. Yes, how very responsible you might say. I am facing this maturely now (and getting ready to face the (I pray not) harsh consequences). Now think about this. Is it not ironic that doing something that amounts to such responsibility has to be this hard to do?

Indeed life is messy.

It’s draining all the energy this body can supply merely imagining how I am going to go about this confrontation. “...just be ready for anything,” you said. You’re right. I am. My hands are all sweaty just typing this entry to pass away the time. I am merely hanging on to my Faith, the feeling of bliss once the first (or two?) waves have passed. And you.

This waiting.. and the storm that is sure to ensue. They will pass :)

Just sharing! <3

2007-04-16T15:08:57Z

So I browsing through the Victoria's Secret website and found some hot dresses
Hahaha! I WANT XD

Just a fun comfy summer dress!
Another loose-fit dress.. I love the color!
This looks like the black one i recently bought from HK!

...XD

Rarr. I'm here for you

"Here's the day you hoped would never come
Don’t feed me violence, just run with me
Through rows of speeding cars
The paper cuts, the cheating lovers
The coffee’s never strong enough
I know you think it’s more than just bad luck

There, there, baby
It’s just text book stuff
It’s in the ABC of growing up
Now, now, darlin’
Oh don’t lose your head
'Cause none of us were angels
And you know I love you"
-Speeding Cars, Imogen Heap

And she does it again

2007-04-15T14:29:26Z

What is worse than being extremely disappointed and pissed off?

Being extremely disapointed, pissed off, relentlessly bitching about it to someone else and then feeling like a spoiled bitch, utterly humiliated five minutes after.

(Even if the person really does understand you-- some emotions are better off kept to yourself especially if you're pretty sure they're temporary ramblings which you're sure to regret after sayy.. a few minutes. The guilt o_O).

Hahaha.
Lesson learned.. Next time you feel the heat coming on (NOT the good kind), the safest thing to do is to grab a pillow, bury your face in it and scream.
That way you're guaranteed no aftermath XD

---------------------------

     Got back from Hong Kong last week. (Wee shooppping.. Xp Pictures here) Summer class starts tomorrow. ITM... Hmm, I wasn't able to enroll for Filipino and Foreign Lang classes anymore. No more slots by the time I registered Xo Oh well, I guess I'll just have to enjoy a light summer load then. I'm just glad I'm (almost) through with the entire shifting process. Loadrev nalang. All that going from building to building, department to department (INIIIIT) was super duper exhausting. Physically and emotionally. Hehe. Thank goodness I've got great friends XD Comtech. I could get used to the sound of that. So my math grade didn't meet meco's retention. That sucks.. but I refuse to let that bring me down.. Fuel for next year, thankyou! XD

     In between trips to school, getting the shifting process done, I've been watching episodes of Nip/Tuck ang Grey's Anatomy. I finished Nip/Tuck last week. The finale was funkyy, guess who The Carver is hmm? Xp That show was seriously intruiging. Loved it. With Grey's though, I've only just reached the third season. I can see where all the praise is coming from though. It doesn't take much to get addicted to it XD I'm hooked.

     So random. I have a new life resoultion. Overdue. Hahaha. Who ever said we could only come up with those during New Year's? Xp Anyway, I've decided to start eating healthy. Yes, I'm serious. I've never been the type to get all concious about eating junk food, chocolates, street food, and even carbs. I just never bothered to stop and think about that! In addition to the fact that I'm a compulsive eater, eating whenever I need to get my mind off something, that is. Anyway, I'm gonna give this a shot. Obviously, it's gonna be a hard road ahead of me, but it's a challenge for myself. No more junkfood, softdrinks, street foods, less oily foods..and carbs, more protein, fruits and vegggies, and water. Always water. AND no more over eating, I think that's gonna be the hardest part. Hahahaha. Let's see how long I can make it like this Xp I'm all for the perks though haha XD And since my ITM class starts at 12 everyday, maybe I can start excercising regularly too.. Hmmm.. Let's give this a shot. See what difference it makes haha XD

Woww

2007-03-23T14:34:05Z

Last Thursday our Botany class presented our long awaited Wow! Philipplants Expo (thanks to Pau for the name haha!)-- An exhibit of local plants, their uses, morphology, etc plus a concluding production directed by none other than Niccole Somodio! (Hahaha.. Favorite na o.. XD) Goodness we've all been working extra hard to make that work since almost half of the class is failing the subject na.. grabe ah! Since I was head of the Promotions committee I ended up making the tarps for each booth as well as the brochures. Cara one of my groupmates made the invitation. Thanks dear! Thanks to Bixie also and her tita who rushed the printing! And to Nadene and Cel, our beadles! XD Over-all I thought we did a good job.. I was taking pictures through out the event and I was thinking to myself.. "Wow. Can't believe we pulled this off.. and its isn't bad either. It actually looks really good" but no one expected Maam Tolentino's speech..SHE was.. IMPRESSED. That in itself made my heart leap. (For those who've heard of her, you probably know why).. but it didn't end there. She gave us a 100 babbyyy! OH YEAH XD

Thanks to everyone who came also. And to samuraiboi for surprising me.. Hahahaha X)
Thanks for the support you guys! Worth it XD

CLICK THE IMAGE to view more pics!! Took a lot.. hehehe..

AND HAPPY GRADUATION GERRRYYY!!! Yayy, highschool na s'ya.. hahaha Xp

~What a night... XD

"Mind cutting the rug a little Miss Wingfield?..."

2007-03-17T06:25:44Z

DID YOU KNOW.....

that yesterday was LIPS APPRECIATION DAY? XD hahaha...

Seriously, they said it in the radio.

March 16. Mark your calendars :-*
---
Yesterday was also our Lit Glass Menagerie presentation.
John and I have been practicing all week and finally yesterday we were able to pull it off.
We did the Jim and Laura scene. The point was to show Pathos actually.
And after we were done Ms. Loredo exlaimed, "Aww, kakaiyak!" Hahahahaha.
I guess it worked XD

We celebrated after too, but since we were broke.. we had to settle for mcDo and the leftover
wine from our props.. hahaha.
Heyy,, I'll never forget that night x)

SANDOYY,, I'm sorry I missed your debut X( I'm grounded due to the fact that I failed another
Math LT nyuur.. I sneaked that entire after-celebration of our presentation nga eh..
Hope you had fun!! Love you still! >:D<

Before the day ends.. follow-up to "blank"

2007-03-05T15:05:19Z

Caught in between things that are beyond my control..

I sorta understand now c:
(Thanks for sharing that with me)

Rarr. Hardd. Nothing left to do except wait it out.
May the fates be on our side.
You know my piece now.

Blank

2007-03-05T09:43:23Z

You lost me.

Did I miss something?
...

Solstice & All That

2007-03-04T04:22:31Z

Solstice @ Embassy yesterday!
Wahh,, daming tao hahaha. But it was fun! Trish was there for awhile too but she had to leave early coz she was on a... what again trishee?? yihheee.. hahahaha.
Anyway, so Yae and Aris picked me up and Yae treated us to Starbucks and Pizza Hut! Birthday treat daw.. hehehe.. thank you Yae!
By the time we got there the line was majorly loooooong.. as in o_O
When we did get in though (thankyouu) it was all good. There wasn't much space to move cause the the place was literally jam-packed so all you could do was dance in the crowd really.. which i personally didnt have a problem with. Considering thats what I came there to do anyway hahaha. Well...that and drink although I didnt get to do that much except for the glass of lychee something trishee ordered and sips of Palm something or another (obviously not acquainted with the drinks).
Haha! Had a good time! Spent most of the time dancing with Cel, Rich, Aris, Yae, Alden, and some of the other people with them. There was a moment though when I went totally sabaw. ~~Kasi naman..~~ (Uhuh..Just forget it. Hahaha)
Ah, saw Ate Trish too! Coolness.. that's so random! Xp
Grarr though.. I forgot to bring my cam.! Oh well..
Ended the night well too. Sabaw.. funny.. another one to add to the ever-growing list.

Ohhyeah. Watched High School Musical with the kids and John last friday night. Field trip mode XD They added new tunes here and there pala but it was generally galing naman! Congrats Tricia, Anna and Gio!! Ah well but as expected, I got jealous.. hahaha. I really do miss performing Xc Aghg shit. Priorities. Anyway.. Lit presentation coming up. That'll last for what.. less than 10 minutes hahahaha.. but hey, at least its something. ~~Except sometimes I get the feeling that my Lit teacher doesn't exactly like me..or NOT..~~ Hahahaha.

Hmmm.. one last thing. I'm soo effin confused about my future (career wise) can I just say?! Hahahaha. Out of the blue huh. But yeah.. Gotta fix my life. Think about my future. Grow up. o_O Nyuur. Can someone fly me off to Neverland?

Random Pictuuures

2007-02-24T14:19:22Z

This is a weird post. Skip it!

2007-02-24T14:04:39Z

This is really weird. And im not even sure if i can get my point through. Haha.
Anyway I just need to write.

Theres something wrong with me today. I'm feeling funny.
Suddenly, I can relate (in one way to another) to almost all the songs on my playlist.

Those are A LOT of songs.

Angsty.
Sentimental.
You-suck-I-hate-you songs.
Sweet.
Sexy.
Jealous.
Kinky. hahaha
Crazy.
Perky.

--Each one seems to bring back a memory. I swear I'm not doing it on purpose but its like each song is tied up with a certain something or someone in my mind right now. MAYBE just for today. It's strange being able to relate to all these songs.. its like a playlist of memories on my mind right now XD Rarr. Too much time in front of the laptop perhaps?

Music and Lyrics

2007-02-24T14:02:52Z

Watched Music and Lyrics with John last night. Obviously my pick.. hahaha. It wasn't exceptional or anything but Drew Barrymore and Hugh Grant definitely made it work. Good one! Some scenes really cracked me up (ie Hugh's POP! dance moves) plus the sountrack's good too. The theme song really got stuck in my head after though. Rarr LSS..It's goood ah x)

Way Back Into Love

I've been living with a shadow overhead
I've been sleeping with a cloud above my bed
I've been lonely for so long
Trapped in the past, I just can't seem to move on
I've been hiding all my hopes and dreams away
Just in case I ever need em again someday
I've been setting aside time
To clear a little space in the corners of my mind
All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
Oh oh oh
I've been watching but the stars refuse to shine
I've been searching but I just don't see the signs
I know that it's out there
There's got to be something for my soul somewhere
I've been looking for someone to shed some light
Not somebody just to get me through the night
I could use some direction
And I'm open to your suggestions
All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart again
I guess I'm hoping you'll be there for me in the end
There are moments when I don't know if it's real
Or if anybody feels the way I feel
I need inspiration
Not just another negotiation
All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart to you
I'm hoping you'll show me what to do
And if you help me to start again
You know that I'll be there for you in the end

word of the day: FINALLY

2007-02-04T05:35:25Z

TRYST yesterday.
Oohie! (Yes another self-invented word haha) I had a blast with the barkada. FINALLY we were complete! I picked Jels up from her place. And thank goodness she agreed to ride with me driving. (See Jel,, no need to double check the seatbelt HAHAHA) Before going to ABS we met up at Nic's place, Trish and Rel were already there. Ahhh.. camwhoring again! Love it. Hahahaha XD
The event itself was fun too, the barkada left for awhile to bond at starbucks while the bands were playing (MAJOR UPATING SESSION and wise words from the people I trust the most hihi) but soon came back when the dancing started. Hahaha. Whew finally I got to dance again last night.. SUPERRR missed ittt! X) I think its the first time I danced with blockmates too. We gotta do that more often you guys.. Lol.
Aha, a development in the life of Mia. My parents finally trusted me to party with the car and the keys to the house (para daw di na 'ko manggigising when I get home late).. When has that ever happened?? Yayy.. FINALLYYYYY... XD
And not but not the least to my dear blockmate: FINALLY! I TOLD YOU SO X)

Word of the day nga eh! Xp

Omg thank goodness there are no classes on Monday.. pero shempre,, tambak nanaman ng school work to make up for it. Rarr. Why am I not surprised? Hahaha.
Time to work.

(Nixiie.. I'm here for you :c Hugg)

Let's jazz this up xp

2007-02-03T04:01:18Z

Random stuff about yesterday..

Crepe + †Gesu + camwhoring + craziness 0_o = good morning XD

I finally got a haircut (looong awaited!)

Bot teacher did NOT grill me for my cross-section - longitudinal booboo for the latest LT (lest she hasn't seen it)

I was again assigned driver for the day as I had to fetch my two brothers, take Gerry to the mall then fetch my dad after work

Some lady who was trying to sell me something in the parking lot tried to bribe me into buying her products by using the line "Miss ang kyut ng beauty mo!!" Whatta.. lol!

Got the math midterm results.. Rarr! I passed and that's all I'm gonna say haha

New lj layout!**

Oh you guys! TRYST na tonight! Hope to see you there!!

Why oh why did I not shift natsci when I had the chance..

2007-02-01T14:19:29Z

I am soooooo effin' scared of my Bot teacher O_O......................
Practically the only thing that keeps me up during her class.

Help me. LT2 >> another disappointment. Uhoh.
Prepare yourself. Behold... the humiliation. Rarrrrrrr

Ah! COMMERCIAL:

The
Management Economics Organization
of the Ateneo de Manila University
and
Magic 89.9
present

TRYST!!
The Grand Auction Phenomenon

PARTY--CONCERT--FASHION SHOW--AUCTION

on Feb 3, 2007 at Club O RestoBar, ABS-CBN Compound

feat. Mayonnaise, Chicosci, Join the Club, Julianne
and a performance by the Company of Ateneo Dancers!
and
bid on selected items during the auction!

OPEN BAR!!!!

BUY tickets from me! P150-- Text or buzz me on YM XD
AYT??
SEE YOU GUYS THERE!!

Before I start working tonight... I just have to write an entry

2007-01-29T15:29:51Z

I AM.... supposed to be working right now. Hahahahaha. But what the hey, this'll take a few minutes of my time.

(John? Time management? Eep.. Xp Whoopsies)

Rarr. I just saw Relsypot's most recent post... awww, got me reminiscing about all those good times we had together T_T.. I'm not even exaggerating I miss each and everyone of 'em so damn much It's not even funny :(

I shall quote from Rel's blog. Here's a bunch of the things she (and im sure the rest of us) really miss about highschool:

"I MISS...

Buying Milo Freeze and Large Fries for recess with my barkada
Going to get Fudge or cookies with Jells everytime we had to vent!
Doing the best clueless scenes with Trish! My Cher!
Boyband Talk with Nicanora
Obsessing over Dirty Dancing and Phantom with Mia
Dancing the Punjabi dance with Lopay, my indian sister!
Arguing with Ian on who has the smaller boobs! Haha
Seeing Cam G. get kilig and tickled even if you don't touch her!
Discussing how horrid the ~~bakyas~~ of a certain someone was..It was mahal daw. Haha

The gay-ness of Mia with her gay finger
The way my barkada understands each other with just one word: "Aaaaaaayyyyyyy" in different tones! HAHAHA

Basement Talk and getting shocked at Ushers moves :P
Nics popcorn during White Noise
Tsuets - The best band ever! Hahaha! We started off with Coco Lee's song pa!
Nic - Tsuets' manager
Trish's "Oh my god, Relly!" in her perky voice
Mia's "Aaaay kawawang bata" in her gay voice
Looking for names from the African Map like: Nicanora Kilimanjaro
Jelly always trying to alter my name..hence: MARCINELLITA
Jelly's alter ego: Shaneequa (is that how you spell?)
Having people doodle all over my planner
Borrowing pens from people..hahaha!
Watching Nic bust out a move while singing and rapping to 5ive! Kawawa Dan's blazer!
Feeding my friends at the beach! Hahaha!
Making the Barkada Timeline in the Whiteboard in the THE room(kitchen)
To Nic: Rooster and Carabao
Teasing Sandie! Haha
Being Rosc's Dr. Love
The Calendar Girls! "Oh I love I love my Calendar Girls..yeaaah!! Sweet Calendar Girls!" Nic.Lopay.Me
The Hobags
Jelly's tissue box with all the messages on it! Haha
Sitting on the floor in the middle of the classroom just yapping away!
Cam wars with Jellsy!
Mia's psycho thumb when we have thumb fights
Trish and ~~Clay Aiken!~~
Laughing at the cheesiest text message "..but it only takes one mia to make me smile.."
Making drama during the retreat
Me and Jelly bugging Mia during the retreat cos it was so hot and there were bugs..and attempting to steal Mia's pillow!
Falling asleep during the 4th year retreat cos all the preist talked about was his life story
Being in the middle of Nic and Mia's bedfight at 12am trying to sleep! Hahaha!
Movie watching with the hobags: especially BOOGEYMAN when my pringles flew everywhere
Seeing Mia get inis with the people behind during the time we watched PHANTOM cos they said his face looked like TOCINO! Haha
Fashion Talk with Jells and how she was horrrified when I dragged my bag down the stairs! Haha
Lighting of the candles during the surprise party I set up for Dan
Rex - The Gay DI! hahaha"

RARRRR. Amazing how a post like that can suddenly take you back in time. And then you realize, there IS NO turning back. That was it for our highschool days. It's time for moving on. HOWEVER.... friends will be there forever! RIGHT??? LOVE YOU GUYS TO BITS!!!! And yes, I agree with Relsy... let's go out :) Sorry if I've been busy lately.. my bad. I shall make up for it!! Although if you need me for anything, don't hesitate to text or ring me okay?? I owe you guys gifts pa.... naipon na! Xo

Hmmmm ...................nyurr. T_T

------------------------
caramel sundae.. rarr X)

After ten million years....

2007-01-28T18:09:22Z

Hmm, once again I have snobbed my lj Xo
How long has it been anyway? Geez my last entry was before second semester even started :))
Haha so why am I updating?
I have NO IDEA o_O I guess its been awhile and lets just say a few things have happened that's led me to think that I'm better off not updating my LJ and relating to random reaaders the whos, whats, hows and whens of my life T_T Hahaha. BUT here I am again XD
Let's give this another shot! However now.. the wheels have turned and I've recovered my intial blog psyche: Think what you will, say what you want. This time around..
... I couldn't care less X)

SO LET'S GET STARTED :)

Rarrr, give me second. I don't know where to begin! Hmm..let me start off with some random rambling and I'll get on from there.

Ah.. I miss my barkada :( I miss my Povedan friends. Hobags. B-eers. Nostalgia strikes again. I was just going through the yearbook and I read through our class page. 4B remembers. "Nag-iinit ang sitwasyon" caught my eye. Grarr I miss those days! Barkada I don't think I can last much longer without having a much-needed basement talk. Seriously! I know you guys want one too... I recieved two "i miss the barkada" text messages this week but just so you guys know, the reason I haven't replied is 'cause I ran out of LOAD! (Unlimitxt does not like me. It ate up my load again) BOOOO.

On a happier note, the MECO core campaigns team joined the Close Up's Lovapalooza:Papazzi Kissing Seen Photo Contest aaand... one of our entries made it to the FINALS! Yay yay yayy Xp Oh get this. The girl in the picture is NIC :)) Uh huh. Nic as in bestfriend Nic hahaha. Super random. On the day we were supposed to have a photoshoot our models backed out and I called a bunch of people but finally convinced Nixie (after laborous convincing, several text messages and phone calls) to model for us. HEYY,, was it not worth it? Xp The Lovapalooza party which was hosted by UPJMA was held last Saturday at Temple Bar, Greenbelt. The finalists' posters were all there on display.. it felt X) hahaha. We didn't win though, also ADMU still did. ACOMM. Congrats XD Next year ulit.

Hmm, anyway, school's been okay. BUSY but okay :) Oh practically every subject I'm taking now is requiring me to write a research paper. Bravo. Oh fiine, except Lit (just the usual lit paper for this one), PE (p.s. basketball has surprisingly been fun for me lately hahaha) and Math. And speaking of Math, I think I'm starting to get a hang of Calculus. Hahaha. How ironic that I got low on my last two long tests. But nonetheless, what I meant was that I'm starting to like it. I'm guessing it's cause application is starting to kick in and all that nonesensical concepts are actually starting to be put to good use. I need to improve though. MeCO 's on the line.. Rarrr.. hassledocious retention marks.

Oh yeah. I lost my ID a couple of days ago. I realized it right away though, but still, after retraing my steps wala na, I really couldn't find it. So I just waiting for whoever picked it up to surrender it to ADSA or DSWS. I waited three days ah. I had to pay P30.00 each day for a temporary ID pa. Di na binalik! Hmph. At the end of the third day I finally decided to have a new one made. Exagg I needed pa a notarized affidavit of loss :)) plus it cost me another P300 (good thing my mom was feeling generous hahaha) So now I have a new ID. Yayy though, I got to retake my picture! Hahaha. My bangs looked majorly weird in that first one o_O

Aha, and yesterday was my second exposure trip to White Cross orphanage and.... I woke up freakin' late and got left by the jeep!
Hahahahaha. Oh noooo Xo Bad trip, I didn't have load at the time so I just had to risk commuting there from Ateneo without the exact directions. (I knew naman it was near Greenhills, San Juan). Oh well. Adventure. Good thing Cel called me up when I was on the road (took a cab). But RARRR, I super had fun that day! Last time kasi I went, I ended up taking care of the young ones that kept on crying and this one kid that wouldn't talk but who obviously needed attention (aww he was adorable), this time however, I ended up with two rough little boys who kept on trying to hang on to my arms and legs and choking me. Hahahaha. Talk about rough play! Such cuties though..SUPER FUN! Rarr,, kids X) Oh and before we had to leave, I taught them how to cam whore. Hahahahaha. I'll repost this and add the pics next time.

Before I end this, I just have to say, I've been happier lately X) I guess fate has its way own way of serving you things when you least expect them. Hehehe. Majorly ironic. Anyway, that's that. Some things are better left unexplained. BUT I'M HAPPY :) Cheers.

Hahaha. Last na! The other day I downloaded old school Stephen Speaks (Don't you miss him?? Passenger seat rarr x) ) and Gavin deGraw songs (remember More than Anyone? Hehehe ). It just brings back so much memories. Anyways, I'll leave you guys with this song.

Follow Through
Gavin de Graw

Oh, this is the start of something good
Don't you agree?
I, haven't felt like this in so many moons
You know what I mean
And we can build through this destruction
As we are standing on our feet

So, since you wanna be with me
You'll have to follow through
With every word you say
And I, all I really want is you
you to stick around
I'll see you everyday
But you have to follow through
You have to follow through

These reeling emotions they just keep me alive
They keep me in tune
Oh, look what I‘m holding here in my fire
This is for you
Am I too obvious to preach it
You're so hypnotic on my heart

So,since you wanna be with me
You'll have to follow through
With every word you say
And I, all I really want is you
you to stick around
I'll see you everyday
But you have to follow through
You have to follow through

The words you say to me are unlike anything
That's ever been said
oh what you do to me is unlike anything
That's ever been
Am I too obvious to preach it?
You're so hypnotic on my heart

So since you wanna be with me
You'll have to follow through
With every word you say
And I, all I really want is you
you to stick around
I'll see you everyday

So since you wanna be with me
You'll have to follow through
With every word you say
And I, all I really want is you
you to stick around
I'll see you everyday
But you have to follow through
You have to follow through
You're gonna have to follow

Oh, this is the start of something good
Don't you agree?

Sched

2006-11-14T16:01:24Z

Grarr. Sembreak is OVERRR.

Before it finally ended though, went to La Luz Beach Resort, Batangas with some blockmates.
SUPER FUN!! What a way to end the break!
Check out my multiply! (Caution: Extreme camwhoring..)

So... Bianx, Trish, Jan?.. here's my sched XD

	Monday	Tuesday	Wednesday	Thursday	Friday
7:30-8:30		BI8	INTACT2
8:30-9:30		BI8
9:30-10:30	EN12	*msp (10-11)	EN12	*msp (10-11)	EN12
10:30-11:30	LIT14		LIT14		LIT14
11:30-12:30		(12) FIL12		(12) FIL12
12:30-1:30	BI7	(12) FIL12	BI7	(12) FIL12	BI7
1:30-2:30	Ma20		Ma20		Ma20
2:30-3:00
3:00-3:30	PE112 (3-4)	Ma20	PE112 (3-4)	Ma20
3:30-4:30		Ma20		Ma20

Ayan ah. I hope we all find common time to have lunch together!
Other povedans rin who wanna have lunch, post your sched so we can all figure something out.

Brand new sem you guys... GOODLUCK TO US!! XD